Nothing is worth losing you
Kirsty, England. Here you may find all things SPN though no promises for quality ... you have been warned.
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  • Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki just arrived at YVR. [x] [x]

    (Source: supernaturaldaily, via inkblackwings)

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  • and oh my heart, how can i face you now?
    when we both know how badly i have let you down

    the sam winchester graphic challenge

    → snuggysam vs. merakieros

    ↪ prompt: i have made mistakes by the oh hellos

    (Source: snuggysam)

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  • officialrichardspeightjr:

    If this picture of Matt and Richard doesn’t make you feel better I don’t know what will…

    (via cavycas)

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  • castials:

    despite my singed feathers
    and this tattered scroll i haul around,
    i’m not an angel. 
    i’m only a shadow,
    the shadow of your desires.

    dani’s spn graphics challenge
    castials vs. catastrophicas

    (Source: donebars, via fightforcas)

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  • stardustandmelancholy:

    Misha Collins, Salute to Supernatural Vancouver 2013

    Taken by me

    (via zatnikatel)

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  • 7.17 The Born-Again Identity

    apocalypse-patisserie:

    INT. DAPHNE ALLEN’S HOUSE – DAY

    [Dean is looking at this fucking guy and this is Cas and he is definitely playing some kind of long game, right? This is a ruse. It’s got to be some sort of setup to protect himself.]

    EMMANUEL/CASTIEL is removing the gag and ropes binding DAPHNE.

    [Dean is watching this and all he sees is CAS.
    HE KNOWS WITH EVERYTHING THAT HE IS THAT THIS GUY IS CAS]

    EMMANUEL/CASTIEL
    That creature hurt you.

    [DEAN STILL THINKS THIS IS CAS]

    DAPHNE
    I’m okay. But, Emmanuel… They were looking for you.

    [DEAN STILL THINKS THIS IS CAS]

    EMMANUEL/CASTIEL
    It’s okay.

    [DEAN STILL THINKS THIS IS CAS]

    [to DEAN] I’m Emmanuel.

    [DEAN STILL THINKS THIS IS CAS WHO IS TALKING TO HIM AND THAT CAS WANTS HIM TO CALL HIM “EMMANUEL”]

    EMMANUEL/CASTIEL holds out his hand and DEAN shakes it.

    [DEAN STILL THINKS THIS IS CAS]

    DEAN
    Dean. I’m…Dean.

    [DEAN STILL FUCKING THINKS THIS IS CAS AND THAT CAS IS MAKING HIM PUT ON THE MOST PAINFUL SHOW OF HIS GODDAMN LIFE]

    EMMANUEL/CASTIEL
    Thank you for protecting my wife.

    DEAN
    Your wife. Right.

    [DEAN STILL FUCKING THINKS THIS IS CAS AND NOW HE THINKS HE’S GOTTA GO ALONG WITH CAS CALLING HIMSELF “EMMANUEL” SO HIS BRAND NEW FUCKING WIFE DOESN’T FIND OUT]

    EMMANUEL/CASTIEL
    I saw his face. His real face.

    [DEAN STILL FUCKING THINKS THIS IS CAS]

    DEAN
    He was a demon.

    [DEAN IS PLAYING ALONG. DEAN. STILL. FUCKING. THINKS. THAT. THIS. IS. CAS.]

    EMMANUEL/CASTIEL
    A demon walked the Earth.

    [DEAN FUCKING FIGURES IT OUT!!!!]

    DEAN
    Demons. Whackloads of them. You don’t know about…?

    DAPHNE
    [to EMMANUEL/CASTIEL] You saw the demon’s true face.

    [to DEAN] Emmanuel has very special gifts.

    [DEAN RADIATES RELIEF AND STOPS MOURNING FOR HIMSELF. CAS DIDN’T SNEAK OFF AND GET MARRIED. CAS IS STILL GONE. THIS IS A DIFFERENT PERSON. CAS ISN’T GONNA MAKE HIM PRETEND FOR THE WIFE. CAS HAS NO IDEA WHO HE IS!]

    DEAN
    Yeah. I-I’ve heard that about… Emmanuel. That you can heal people up.

    I was watching this when it was on the re-runs last week and I had to back up and watch it three times. I’d never paid close enough attention but, when Dean’s in the house, he thinks that Cas knows who he is. He thinks Cas knows that he is Castiel, Angel of the Lord. Dean CLEARLY, up until the very point that Emmanuel wonders about a demon walking the earth,

    RIGHT UP UNTIL THAT VERY POINT

    IS 100% CONVINCED that Cas woke up after the Leviathan left him, crawled up on shore, and decided to walk away from their life. To not talk to Dean or ever acknowledge him or his own life again. He decided to never call. Decided it would be best if his former best friend thought he was dead. Dean thinks that Cas decided it was better for Dean to believe he was dead. Dean thinks Castiel consciously made this decision.

    Dean is CONVINCED, up until Emmanuel clearly betrays ignorance, that this is Cas’s new life he’s accidentally walked into and that he’s gonna make some excuse to get rid of Dean so he can continue to have a peaceful life with his wife.

    Up UNTIL THAT FUCKING MOMENT

    DEAN IS IN AGONY

    THINKING THAT CAS WALKED AWAY

    GOT MARRIED WITHOUT HIM, LET HIM THINK HE WAS DEAD,

    AND DOESN’T EVER WANT TO BE A PART OF HIS LIFE AGAIN.

    Every line of dialogue up until “a demon walked the earth?” is Dean in complete pain because he thinks that Cas will turn him around, tell him he likes what he has now more than he ever wanted to be a part of Dean’s fucked up family, and he thinks Cas will say goodbye to him. He thinks he’s showing Dean how happy he is in his new life, how loving and devoted a husband he is, and that he’s much better off without Dean in his world.

    I don’t have S07 on my computer to make caps of it right now. But go back and watch, line by line, as Dean is in this house expecting that Cas is happier than he’s ever been and that Cas will never really be in his life again. Watch Dean realize that he’s supposed to call this guy “Emmanuel” and he’s supposed to recognize this wife of his as if she were any other pleasant person. Watch him believe that he’s got to walk away from here before he destroys the peace that Cas has found.

    He thinks Daphne is beautiful and, yeah, why wouldn’t Cas tell some fibs so he could have this for the rest of his life? An unquestioningly loving wife, a quiet home, the opportunity to heal people without drama.

    For those long moments as Cas is untying his wife, Dean thinks he just stepped in where he should have known he wasn’t wanted. He’s so sure that he should have expected this somehow. Should have done a day of recon, seen him, and known not to intrude. Should have known that the way Cas would try to “make it up to him” was to take himself out of Dean’s life if death didn’t do him that favor.

    He is SO SURE. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.

    And when he realizes that Cas isn’t playing a game, that he really doesn’t understand what’s going on, that Cas isn’t gonna turn him away— “I know you need help, but you know I can’t help you and you have to go before Daphne finds out we know one another. I can’t let you ruin her life, too.”

    He realizes that’s not gonna happen.

    He’s so relieved.

    And up until Meg joins the party, I really think Dean is convinced that Emmanuel will just help Sam and he can tuck him away in his new life, make sure he’s safe from harm and let him go.

    And when it turns out more complicated than that. Dude. You KNOW he’s relieved. He probably feels like a selfish shit for it and angry all the while. Because Cas broke so much and then, what— his mind protected him? He got to walk away?

    And there’s no walking away from this. So he can be that selfish. He can drag Cas back in. Cas is strong. He can handle it. They’ll both fix everything and—

    It all goes so sideways from there anyhow.

    But I am now officially PLAGUED by the way that Dean is convinced he’s got to walk away and let Cas play house.

    Without him.

    And my heart, which wants them to be happy together so badly, just screams. Because then it’s more like ‘you could marry a stranger but you couldn’t come back and love ME?

    I mean, what if Dean knows, by that point, that he’s had nightmares and been drinking over losing Cas because he knows that, if things had gone a different way, he would have slipped up or fessed up? What if, by then, he’s realized he was so torn apart by Cas’s death because he loved him?

    SO THEN I GOTTA REWATCH THE SCENE AGAIN

    AND BAWL MY EYES OUT THIS TIME

    Because Cas married a stranger while Dean was mourning his best friend, mourning the loss of his family, mourning for the person he loved.

    And I’m just saying.

    If you ever want your heart physically ripped out of your body, this scene would take pleasure in doing that for you.

    WATCH IT A THIRD TIME.

    Imagine that something inside Dean’s head is screaming at the top of its lungs “I LOVE YOU. I FOUND YOU AND I LOVE YOU. I FOUND YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND YOU’RE HAPPY AND YOU’RE MARRIED. I FOUND YOU, I LOVE YOU, YOU’RE MARRIED, AND I’M GONNA HAVE TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU.”

    And then come over and let’s lay down together in a mass of soft pillows and eat cookies and weep.

    (via helovessowholly)

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